Fearless Women: How to Succeed Using What You've Got

Last year I received a call from Arielle Ford, the publicist to some of the most renown names in the book business: Deepak Chopra, Mark Victor Hansen, Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Don Miguel Ruiz and many more. Would I be interested in being featured in a book titled, Fearless Women: Midlife Portraits, about women who have achieved life success by working through their fears? Arielle explained to me that by the time a Fearless Woman reaches her forties, her effortless good looks of youth have matured into the warmth and beauty of a life well lived. Her infectious vitality, sense of purpose and desire to make the world a better place, warms and positively changes everyone she connects with.

By Marilyn Tam

Last year I received a call from Arielle Ford, the publicist to some of the most renown names in the book business: Deepak Chopra, Mark Victor Hansen, Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Don Miguel Ruiz and many more.

Would I be interested in being featured in a book titled, Fearless Women: Midlife Portraits, about women who have achieved life success by working through their fears?

Arielle explained to me that by the time a Fearless Woman reaches her forties, her effortless good looks of youth have matured into the warmth and beauty of a life well lived. Her infectious vitality, sense of purpose and desire to make the world a better place, warms and positively changes everyone she connects with.

Wow, I was impressed and amazed to be considered a Fearless Woman! I submitted my credentials to the authors who promptly replied that they were ecstatic that I agreed to be in the book. This was certainly good for my self esteem. I reported to the photo shoot somewhat apprehensive, no, extremely apprehensive and with a serious case of self doubt.

With glamorous people like Cybill Shepherd (movie star), Joni Mitchell (legendary singer) and Erin Brockovich, whose research and direct action lawsuit led to the settlement of the largest toxicinjury settlement in American history in the book, will I be out of place?

Mary Ann Halpin, the books photographer quickly put me at ease. She told me stories of the different women from all walks of life she photographed for the book, and how each contributed in their own way to inspiring others with their fearlessness. We had a fun time at the photo shoot and in fact, became friends afterwards.

Fast forward. Late last year I was invited to be a speaker at the Annual Women in Technology International Conference for this May. What would I like to speak about? Hmm, women in technology, they exemplify courage and the territory that women can cover if they dare to live their dreams and venture out of the stereotypical womens careers.

I have the perfect topic: Fearless Women : How to Succeed Using What Youve Got. I called on Mary Ann to co-speak on this subject, she can show her luscious photographs from her book, and tell stories of the fearless women. And I can share the principles and action steps that Ive used to go from a teenage immigrant from Hong Kong landing in the USA alone, to being the Vice President of Nike, the President of Reebok Apparel and Accessories Group, and the founder of three businesses and a non-profit foundation.

The title of the talk is a combination of both our book titles, Fearless Women: Mid Life Portraits and mine, How to Use What Youve Got to Get What You Want. I wrote my book to give back and to share with the world in gratitude for what I have been able to achieve; not only business success but more importantly, inner peace and my sense of purpose.

A book project is an expedition with no clear map and is filled with many unexpected obstacles and lessons. It is also a journey that can bring immense joy and new passions. I asked Mary Ann to share her story of how she grew through her book project and to tell her impressions of some of the women she met:

A couple of years ago, I embarked on a photo project called, Fearless Women: Midlife Portraits. Teaming up with authors Nancy Alspaugh and Marilyn Kentz, we set out to create an inspiring book about and for women in the middle years of their lives. We had no idea what journey it would take us on.

It took a year to gather the women who demonstrated that midlife is not a time to stop living but to embrace change, reinvent and re-ignite their lives. We found great women that stood proud and tall, a true inspiration to women of all ages.

Photographing these extraordinary women was a gift. They were all a reflection of my own life and thus began the almost two years of a fear inspiring journey with many lessons. I believe every project we create takes us through parts of ourselves that we have closed a door on. The fearless teachings came swift through the making of this book. Working with two other strong women challenged me with the actual meaning and interaction in partnership.

In the middle of the project I had to have emergency surgery and my Mother survived a very serious car accident. Reflecting back, I remember writing "surrender" on my dressing room mirror. As soon as I came to that consciousness, everything started to shift in a positive way. What really became the joy and strength in my life was photographing all these tremendous women. Hearing their stories gave me the courage to forge ahead.

Rhonda Britten was 14 when she witnessed her father shooting her mother and then turned the gun on himself right in front of her. After 20 years of guilt, shame and anger, she decided that the past would no longer dictate her existence. She began to live her life with fearless forgiveness. Rhonda determined to use her growth to help other women, so she studied to become a life coach and seminar leader. She started coaching individuals and facilitating grief groups. She is now a best selling author and life coach on the show, Starting Over.

Karyn Calabrese knew she wanted to succeed in life. First, this former model was resolute in not meeting the same fate as her mother and grandmother, who died in their early fifties, younger than Karyn is now. And she was unwavering in her dream to succeed as an African American woman who had suffered through a bad marriage and had two children to raise. So she took her passionate interest in health, diet and lifestyle, and turned it into a business and became one of the most innovative leaders in the holistic health industry. She is the owner of the hugely successful raw food restaurant called Karyn's in Chicago.

Brooke Medicine Eagle is a Native American metis, or medicine woman. "It means finding your path, waking up to your true gifts," she explains, "and using them for the healing of the planet." After experiencing many challenges growing up on the Crow reservation in Montana, Brooke earned her degree in psychology and pursued her spiritual studies.

She leads retreats internationally and conducts wilderness camps at her childhood home ranch. Brooke says, "Whatever you vibrate, you create! So as soon as you can in your life, get help to clear the traumas, irrational fears and angers and other negative "vibrations" from your life and body. Everything will unfold more easily in your life for having done so."

I don't consider myself to be fearless. I know that I experience fear quite often. It's walking though the fear and embracing the word "courage." It's taking the best gifts you have and using them to create anything your heart desires. It's finding the balance in career, family and spiritual life. One of my favorite sayings is, "Life is lived on the road, not at the inn." It's the journey that is most important.

Now Mary Anns and my books are available in the market. They are inspiring and encouraging others to reach for their dreams. I receive many heart warming letters from readers on how I have helped them find their life mission and to discover their own inner assets.

I am deeply touched by the tales of positive life changes that my book has helped launch. More people are practicing the four principles I shared in my book on how to attain greater success and happiness: Truth: Tell the truth all the time. Why complicate your life by having to remember lies? Partner: Make partners. Find people who support your ideas and endeavors. Make them your allies. Mistakes: Take risks, make only big mistakes. This way, you are prepared and you can learn from them. Small mistakes are things done carelessly. Sword: Hold on to your convictions, fight for your ideas.

How to Use What Youve Got To Get What You Want is now in several languages, my vision of helping others use their natural assets to achieve their life mission is being realized more and more each day. I am thrilled for what I have been given and achieved, and if that qualifies me as a fearless woman, then Im truly grateful to take on that label.

Mary Ann Halpins book, Fearless Women is published by Stewart Tabori & Chang, 2005 and is available at http://www.amazon.com here.
Marilyn Tams book, How To Use What Youve Got to Get What You Want is published by SelectBooks, 2004 and is available at http://www.amazon.com.