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What’s Going On? Everything, All at Once By Ben Fong-Torres

Posted by Suzanne Kai - on Sunday, 08 May 2022

What’s Going On? Everything, All at Once By Ben Fong-Torres
What’s Going On? Everything, All at Once By Ben Fong-Torres MAY 8, 2022 With “Like a Rolling Stone: The Life and Times of Ben Fong-Torres” the documentary about me, now out today and streaming merrily along on Netflix, I’m officially in the film industry.  Actually, that’s been the case since last June, when the documentary, which stole its title from a popular column at Asian Connections created by director Suzanne Joe Kai's son Mike when he was 14, premiered at the...

Happy Holidays????

Posted by AC Team on Monday, 15 December 2003.

Happy Holidays! Such cheery loaded words.

Happy Holidays! Such cheery loaded words. The promise and implicit meaning behind those simple words are so powerful: We are supposed to be happy celebrating the many holidaysThanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Years Eve and Day, Chinese New Year, and more that crop up in this season of high expectations. What if you are feeling stressed, stretched with too much to do and/or feeling none too jolly?

Few people in the USA are foreign to these holidays and customs or at least to the commercial aspects of them. The retailers and advertising people make sure of that; one can hardly escape from the relentless bombardment of the need to be merry and bright, and the reminder to buy presents for all these occasions.

Most of us in the Asian community love a good excuse for a celebration and with lots of good food. So, whether we believe or understand the premise of the various holidays, almost everyone has bought into the need to be jovial this time of the year. This is when it may get difficult; sometimes you may not be in a particularly happy place in your life.

You may feel that there are too many demands on your time with work, family, and friends already to add the organizing of holiday cards, gifts, and events. And what about your own personal time? Relationship issues could also be up; you may be feeling lonely when others seem to be having fun sharing with their friends and family. It could be a work-related issue where you may be insecure about your work situation, or be in the looking for work mode. Or you may have health challenges, and those are making you feel like not celebrating.

What to do if that is the case? First thing to do is to stop, take a deep breath, and tell yourself the truth. Yes, you dont have to paste that smile on your face and pretend that you are in the holiday mood right now. After youve admitted your feelings to yourself, examine why you feel that way. Take things one step at a time. Realize that you cant do it all at once. Go back to what is most important to you in the long term. What is your mission in life? To share with your family and friends? To make a positive difference in the world? Then look at all the possible scenarios and ask yourself how you can cope in each case; amazingly enough, youll probably come up with solutions to your challenges!

Realize that it really is too much to try to be perfect in everything, especially at this time of the year when so many different things and people are screaming for attention. Prioritize what you want to do, and then work on them in a manner that leaves you room to have some time for yourself. The few minutes or hours that you take out of your hectic juggling of tasks will refresh you and ground you into being able to accomplish more.

Ask for help; share what you need to do with your colleagues and family. Establish what your common goals are and work on them together, or assign portions of it to the people who have the most expertise, interest, and time in getting it done.

Remember that the true reasons for the holidays are about sharing and celebrating the good in each other and in Spirit. Live and operate from that perspective, and remember to stop and take a deep breath to center yourself again whenever you feel too stressed. Support others in the same way, especially if you are around childrenthe over stimulation is even more intense for them. Take time to have a bit of quiet, a walk, a meditation, or an activity that gives you and yours a sense of peace.

If you are feeling lonely, sad, or scared, you can volunteer at a shelter, a non-profit, or a church group to help others who are feeling the stress of the seasons even more. Helping pack food boxes, clothing, or toys for needy people, and working with others who find joy in helping will raise your own spirits and also give you a sense of community and kinship. Working with others will also give you a deeper sense of gratitude for all the reasons that you have to give thanks.

So, heres to a truly Happy Holiday. May you feel comfortable to participate in the season as much, or as little, as you feel is fitting for you.

Marilyn Tams book, How to Use What Youve Got to Get What You Want, receives an average 5-star rating from Amazon.com customers. In her book, Ms. Tam talks about how to discover your own inner North Star, and how to use it to navigate your efforts to achieve maximum personal success. The hardcover is just $14.00 on Amazon.com. Check it out! Click here

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